some thoughts

after 2 years of craziness, I am glad my life is becoming more normal. (or at least that's what I think it is right now) And I hope it'll stay like that.
Yes, I think I can see things much clearer now and it is a good thing. But seeing things so clearly also means I saw how stupid I have been all this while. Quite upset with myself that my life got so messed up in a short span of 2 years.

2 things. One is being obedient in little things, and having faith in little things. Like what pastor shared, when we start to compromise, our morals becomes worldly standards. Its quite sad that I am no longer how I started out because I compromised a little here and there.. and now I'm so messed up. Really need to start saying no to little things, and just turn my life around. So read, meditate and pray. and focus focus! I am very distracted by random thoughts all the time and that is sooo baddd.

Second thing. I think I have been too trusting. Now that I can see things clearer than before, it really saddens me to learn that people I have trusted and regarded as close friends have used me for their own selfish gains. I always believe there is a good and kind and nice side in every person, and I still do. So how am I suppose to tell if someone cannot be trusted. I don't know...

Think it is very difficult for people to understand what I am saying cause no one really knows what went on in my life the past 2 years. But God knows, and I'm sure he knows what I need to do. So I'll just have to keep trusting God.