cheryl

Edgar Allan Poe

2010-07-20T00:11:00.000+08:00

Take this kiss upon the brow!

And, in parting from you now,

Thus much let me avow-

You are not wrong, who deem

That my days have been a dream;

Yet if hope has flown away

In a night, or in a day,

In a vision, or in none,

Is it therefore the less gone?

All that we see or seem

Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar

Of a surf-tormented shore,

And I hold within my hand

Grains of the golden sand-

How few! yet how they creep

Through my fingers to the deep,

While I weep- while I weep!

O God! can I not grasp

Them with a tighter clasp?

O God! can I not save

One from the pitiless wave?

Is all that we see or seem

But a dream within a dream?

2010-03-25T11:05:00.002+08:00

i totally dislike you.

you're a hypocrite.

2010-03-17T01:32:00.002+08:00

'How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.'

2010-03-16T01:16:00.000+08:00

awesome movie.

an antelope with ant

2010-03-09T22:42:00.002+08:00

another random doodle. just for fun. (:

When I feel like it.

2010-03-06T23:51:00.002+08:00

This will be the first of my many doodles. This one is done on Adobe Illustrator (ai), so the colour a lil' flat. Will be trying some out in sketches. (: Look out of 'em!

2010-03-05T01:12:00.003+08:00

Went for the last bowling session with stbc and kim. This session was like the best, maybe cause it was after our crit and thesis can be kicked aside for awhile. Since the whole bowling alley was empty, we decided to take pictures! These are a few of my favs (:

food of the day!

2010-03-05T00:58:00.002+08:00

Chinese Rojak and Tu Tu Kueh

2010-03-05T00:02:00.001+08:00

i don't like routine.

bday with s11

2010-02-27T02:03:00.004+08:00

Celebrated my birthday with S11 today! (thanks potato! for organizing!) it was a simple meet up, but still a lot of fun.

After pizza and cake cutting, we opened my birthday present ( a board game ) and started playing with it. The game is called 'ICK' , and yes.. its about collecting ickky and gross stuff so that monsters can live in it. Took us quite some time to figure out the rules of the game, but we got the hang of it after 2 to 3 rounds.

I am so thankful for this bunch of friends because despite our busy schedules, we still try to meet up every now and then. Its been 5 years, and I'm sure this friendship will go a long way. (:
Next birthday meet-up is for dearest py! yay!

2010-02-26T00:24:00.002+08:00

Went for my FIRST friend's wedding today! I got to meet up with Audrey, Shufen, Gabriel and of course Selina (the bride), my colleagues from Parkview Eclat. They are an awesome bunch and I am so thankful for friends like them! Audrey will be arranging a meet up at her place sometime during March! Looking forward!!

2010-02-24T22:43:00.001+08:00

Underneath the moon,
Underneath the stars
Heres a little heart for you
Up above the world,
Up above it all
Heres a hand to hold on to

But if I should break,
If I should fall away
What am I to do?
I need someone to take,
A little of the weight

Or I'll fall through

- 'Don't Let Me Fall' by Lenka

I love this song!!

New shoes that bite

2010-02-24T01:17:00.005+08:00

New shoes always bite! It doesn't matter how well made or how expensive, new shoes worn for the first time always leaves me with huge blisters on my heel. And I'm whining cause I wore my new shoes today so I've got a huge blister on my heel. That just means I got to wear my birkenstocks until the blister goes away. Ugh. and yes, that also means this new pair of shoes they are going to be left on the shelf for quite some time.

Anyway, I just got back from my second bowling training session with STBC. Competition is next week and I'm injured! That is not too good news. :| Since my last bowling session, thanks to smallan's coaching, my thighs and butt were aching for like a week. That is an unusually long time for aching muscles to heal. But my thighs didn't hurt so much today, so I thought it was okay for me to go for a second training. While I was warming up, I felt a sharp pain on my left thigh. Uh oh. I knew for sure I wouldn't be able to play today. True enough, when it was my turn, it was so painful when I was in the last bowling position I just dropped the ball and watched it roll into the gutter. Haha. Think I strained my hamstring or something. Cause now, I can't cross my legs, and it sort of permanently hurts. (Not the aching hurt, but the sharp pain hurt) haha.

First a blister and then my thigh. That is very bad news, especially for this week since crit is in 1 week's time. But nvm, at least I still can walk. :) I'll be running around quite a bit the next few days cause I'll have to get materials, make prototypes.. There's quite a lot of work to be done. Let's hope I have something decent for presentation next tuesday.

2010-02-22T21:09:00.000+08:00

Alice in Wonderland. Anybody wants to watch with me?

happy birthday daddy!

2010-02-21T23:08:00.005+08:00

Happy Birthday Daddy!

'When I think about my father,
and the years we’ve had to share
I’m thankful just to know
that his love is always there.

And though he’s growing older
he grows sweeter with each year
my "knight in shining armor,"
I’m so glad to have you here!'
- Jill Lemming

a good year?

2010-02-18T12:53:00.002+08:00

I like this Chinese New Year couplet/idiom. :)

Anyway, this year's cny was fun. Or least I felt it was more happening than the previous years. Maybe it's cause I missed one year of cny (last year), so thoroughly enjoying this year's celebration.

Unfortunately, I have thesis to fret about. Sighh...haven't done anything since my last critique... and I know I'm going to be quite dead for the next one. I don't really feel like doing anything though, cause I'm still in the holiday mode. That's the problem with these celebrations la. They come and end too quickly.

Oh well... Anyway, Happy Chinese New Year!

very much alone

2010-02-11T22:44:00.005+08:00

now facebook has groups like

'Even If im with you all day, I miss you the second you leave.'

with 307387 fans.

didn't know everyone else felt the same way. cause in all my relationships, when i say 'i miss you', i get.. 'what for? we just saw each other.'

think i'm just very angry and sad and upset and angry.. just very bitter la. cause I cannot understand why such things must happen to me..

have been feeling very down lately, and i've been trying to take my mind off things. called a few friends to go out with me.. but nobody seem to want to hang out. and that doesnt help at all.

and when i say i'm very much alone, I don't say it cause I have no one.. but more like, where are all my friends?

aha.. this post is like super emo. and i absolutely hate it. but ahh.. i'm losing it!

some thoughts

2010-02-10T16:36:00.003+08:00

after 2 years of craziness, I am glad my life is becoming more normal. (or at least that's what I think it is right now) And I hope it'll stay like that.
Yes, I think I can see things much clearer now and it is a good thing. But seeing things so clearly also means I saw how stupid I have been all this while. Quite upset with myself that my life got so messed up in a short span of 2 years.

2 things. One is being obedient in little things, and having faith in little things. Like what pastor shared, when we start to compromise, our morals becomes worldly standards. Its quite sad that I am no longer how I started out because I compromised a little here and there.. and now I'm so messed up. Really need to start saying no to little things, and just turn my life around. So read, meditate and pray. and focus focus! I am very distracted by random thoughts all the time and that is sooo baddd.

Second thing. I think I have been too trusting. Now that I can see things clearer than before, it really saddens me to learn that people I have trusted and regarded as close friends have used me for their own selfish gains. I always believe there is a good and kind and nice side in every person, and I still do. So how am I suppose to tell if someone cannot be trusted. I don't know...

Think it is very difficult for people to understand what I am saying cause no one really knows what went on in my life the past 2 years. But God knows, and I'm sure he knows what I need to do. So I'll just have to keep trusting God.

monday

2010-02-09T01:42:00.004+08:00

Met up with 5 of the S11s to have Dim Sum. It is always nice to meet up with them cause we will always have something to laugh about.

Haha.. and I like the way Bao Zeng put it:

'350 degree' change

how is that even possible right?

but it happened. oh well..

a happy day

2010-02-07T22:45:00.004+08:00

its a happy day! and i thank God for the weather!

Cycled the PCN route today.. and probably covered 20+ km from Tampines to ECP. Even though it wasn't the full route, but I'm still half dead. The slopes at Pasir Ris and I think Loyang are just crazy! My favourite route is still the one between Changi Beach to ECP... long and flat. ECP in the evening is a very happy place to be at.. its just gives a nice feeling when you stop and take in everything that's going on around you.

Had a few random thoughts while cycling and it was nice to be able to sort out my thoughts this way. Hm, I wonder what God's will is for me... and I'm quite excited to find out.

Everything has its time, and there are reasons for things that happen. So, the way our paths have crossed several times must say something right. But I guess that's something not within my control. I trust and I'll wait..

We shall see..

Oh be careful little eyes what see

2010-02-06T17:42:00.003+08:00

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

hmm

2010-02-06T02:14:00.001+08:00

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves

a very long week

2010-02-05T22:20:00.003+08:00

Its finally friday, and an end to a very long week and many other things.
The first thesis interim critique is over. Portfolio draft submission is over. so is being in a relationship.
An end to things also means the start of something new. And I am excited, because I will be graduating and working. For that to happen, I just need to focus. Focus on the right things. I think two things in my life now, would be God and my final year project. That should be enough to keep me busy.

Had a very good talk with Sis Dawn, and I think I really need to sit down and think about what I want. And after all the thinking, I'll need to do something about it. There are many things I want to do. And hopefully, 12 months later at thanksgiving, I can share about my super fruitful and exciting year.

Yes, this year will be an awesome year for me. :)

Abba Father

2010-02-04T17:53:00.000+08:00

Abba Father
by Ron Hamilton

Father, hold me safe in Your arms;
Father keep me free from all harm.
I cast my care on You Just like a child should do
Trusting, loving all that You are.

Abba Father, I rest in You;
You're always faithful,
You're always true.
Abba, Father, You are my song
Though clouds are dark,
Though night is long.
I cry to You, Abba Father.

Father, help me lean on You more
Through each valley, through ev'ry storm
Help me when I can't see Your will is best for me;
Love me, hold me sheltered and warm.

Abba Father, I rest in You;
You're always faithful,
You're always true.
Abba, Father, You are my song
Though clouds are dark,
Though night is long.
I cry to You, Abba Father.

Father, mold me, make me like new,
Guide my footsteps, keep my heart true
So that the world may see your like-ness lives in me.
Break me, shape me, make me like You.

Abba Father, I rest in You;
You're always faithful,
You're always true.
Abba, Father, You are my song
Though clouds are dark,
Though night is long.
I cry to You, Abba Father.

2008-12-28T19:59:00.002+08:00

Thanksgiving at my place was rather impromptu (if you've been following the earlier entries), but thankfully, it turned out quite well. We had good fellowship together with quite a few interesting things to share. haha.. We went down to Bro. Joshua's place after dinner to surprise Sis Jan and played the 'bean game' at his place. Haha, that was the first time I've seen Sandra so fast. She was like doing some high level trading that even I got lost at some point.

Yep, so anyway I'm leaving in 2 days time, at 6am on the 31st of Dec. Its a really sad timing, because no one can send me off since its so early. Haha. And I must say that I am not quite ready to leave. I am half-packed and still worrying about my health forms because I've only got 1 dose of Hep B jab. Those immunization thingys are like so troublesome and I really don't see the need especially when I'm only gonna be there for 5 months. Tsk.

Oh! but thank God I managed to settle my accommodation for my first 2 days there. Phew. haha.. thanks tan yixiang! if not for her, I dont even need to think about going for exchange. haha. so i have 2 more days to worry about many many things. Just hope by the time i'm on the plane.. I'll stop fretting.

permanently tired and confused

2008-12-14T17:09:00.002+08:00

i'm permanently tired, permanently confused

grah.. so many things happened in such a short span of time, and so many thoughts on my mind. can't believe i'm leaving in less than 3 weeks, with quite alot of things unsettled.

i think i've got goldfish memory.. cause i forget things right after I made a mental note to remember it. which doesnt help at all.. cause there's alot of things i need to do.

2008-12-06T01:40:00.002+08:00

No one has Wisdom like God has
No one Loves us like God does
No one is as Trustworthy as God is
No one is as Holy as God is

These four truths I think I've known them all along. Okay, maybe not KNOW, but I've heard of them all too often that I know that these are attributes of God. They are like very obvious truths, so much so that I've taken them for granted and they never really meant anything to me.

Last week during Children's Camp, these four truths were taught to us. It was repeated so many times that by the third day of camp, I think it was stuck in my head for good. There are many attributes of God that I know, or have heard of. But these four truths became clearer to me than before. It was rather comforting to know that God's wisdom, love, trustworthiness and holiness is like no one else's.

But now I thank God that I really do KNOW what these truths really mean. i.e. what it really really means for our God to be Holy. And i realised, what a huge difference it makes to truly know these truths. It just makes everything so clear, and everything seem so small that I'm like asking.. 'What on earth am I doing?'

And if I live knowing these truths, reminding myself of these truths, it makes it so much easier to put God first in everything. What scares me though is how quickly I can forget these truths, and allow everything else, and every single problem to pile up and cover up these four truths. Argh. Like how can i forget.

Yea, I also think it sounds really stupid that I can't even remember these four things. Gah, but I really want to remember it. Like every single minute, in everything I do. And yes.. thats what I'm going to try to do. To be reminded that..

No one has Wisdom like God has
No one Loves us like God does
No one is as Trustworthy as God is
No one is as Holy as God is

All Of These

2008-12-01T01:57:00.003+08:00

All Of These

How vast His grace!
How great His faithfulness!
How deep His love!
How rich His mercy!
How high His thoughts!
How sure His wisdom!
And all of these, He gives to me.

So I will praise Him with ev'ry breath,
For He has rescued me from certain death.
And now this life I live, I live in Him.
O let His glory shine while mine grows dim.

How just His ways!
How good His discipline!
How pure His truth!
How kind His goodness!
How calm His peace!
How long His patience!
And all of these, He gives to me.

How broad His pow'r!
How grand His majesty!
How true His reign!
How bright His glory!
How strong His might!
How clear His triumph!
And all of these, He gives to me.

very tired and flustered

2008-11-30T13:53:00.003+08:00

wa.. i think there are so much things going on around me, and so many things i want to do that I feel so frustrated sometimes when I don't get anything done in the end. tsk..

Castle of Christ!

2008-11-29T20:04:00.002+08:00

Thank God for Children's Camp! :).. for all the important truths that were taught to us, for all the verses we memorized (Psalms 119:11) .. and for all the children that I've grown to love.

2008-01-10T01:41:00.000+08:00

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct you paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

Its such a comforting verse. I guess I have been trying too hard to live by my own ways... and it isnt turning out quite right. But its always so nice to know there is someone i can cast all my cares upon.. and know that the Lord will provide for me. This shall be the verse guiding me through 2008.

Abba Father, let me be
Yours and Yours alone
May my will forever be
Ever more Your own
Never let my heart grow cold
Never let me go
Abba Father, let me be
Yours and Yours alone

I suddenly remembered this song I used to sing in Primary Sch.
Its a beautiful song.
I really thank God for BFC and all my friends who have been praying for me.
Thank God for sunday sch.
Continue to pray for me as I understand and apply the will of God in my life.